Saying goodbye to daddy

Yes, it's be a very long time since I've posted on my blog. Life has been crazy (hasn't it been for everyone?).

Three years ago I wrote my first eulogy, which was for my mom. I can never be too serious, so humor was the main component of what I wrote, and read, at the funeral.

Three years and a day later, daddy died.

Here I am again, saying goodbye. I'm technically an orphan.

But, as always, I can't be that serious. So here is what I will be reading at his funeral tomorrow. I hope you can enjoy the humor and get a glimpse of the man I loved so dearly.

We are all here today to celebrate the life of a man that would take the shirt off his back for anyone and knew exactly how to fix anything (as long as he had enough duct tape and WD-40).

Dad was a fun loving, kind and caring man who was known for his long, entertaining stories; of which he loved to repeat often.

His over 20 years as a corrections officer afforded hundreds of men and women exposure to dad’s unique sense of humor.

His regrets were few but include eating a rotisserie hot dog from a convenience store in the summer of ‘98, not training his faithful Chihuahua Chewy to deer hunt, and that no video evidence exists of his near-death experiences, of which there were many.

There were so many in fact that there’s not enough time to tell you all about them.

Like, I could tell you about the time, when he was only two, that his dad accidentally ran over him with the family car.

Or the time he was put in charge of a Royal Rangers camping trip, in which he decided to show a group of 12-year-old boys a fast draw with his six shooter. A bullet wound and some hard earned first aid badges later, the boys managed to carry him a mile up the hill to another troop pack who got him to the hospital.

Or I could even tell you about the time he blew up the garage while welding, causing the door handle to shoot down the hallway, along with the cat. It took three days to find him. The cat, not Dad.

Honestly, he had so many near death experiences, the family joked that his guardian angels’ robes were in tatters and smoking.

I guess the best story I can tell you of dad’s guardian angels working overtime, is when he went out hiking with our uncle Chip. They came upon an overlook that was 40 feet above a creek, fed from a cave beneath their feet.

Dad, wanting to get a better look at the cave, decided to jump out and hang from the branch of a tree at the edge of the overhang. However, the tree wasn’t having any of it and promptly uprooted itself, sending dad careening 40 feet down to land in the middle of a rocky creek bed. Somehow, he managed to survive with only bumps and bruises (though it would explain his back problems after that).

For 71 years, dad was literally inches from death, more times than I can count on both hands. The whole family wondered when the next accident would be his last.

But God has shown us, it is only when He calls us, that our time has come. Even dad, who I’m sure tested our gracious Lord’s patience at times, would not go before his time.

So, I leave you with this:

Don’t eat convenience store hot dogs.

Never lean down with an open flame to see where your welder is leaking.

And always live life to its fullest.

What a long year it was...

I definitely know I am not alone when I say 2020 was a long year. The obviousness for me is in my silence on this blog.

In 2019 my aunt, my mother, my cat, and my grandmother all passed away. It was, to say the least, a devastating year. 

So when 2020 rolled around I knew it was going to be my year (like we all did right?). It started out great! I had two new children's books coming out. I signed up to attend three different author/book conferences. I even was finalizing 'Wolf's Beautiful Beast' which I had been stuck on (darn writers block) for a couple years.

Then it hit. You know what IT I speak of. IT which shall not be named but rhymes with Sharona Cyrus. lol

My kids' school closed, and I was thrown into homeschooling. The author conferences were canceled. Worst of all there was no toilet paper in sight!

I tried to make the best of a crazy situation. I still managed to get my Buddy the Blue Corgi children's books published, which was super exciting. I decided to enjoy my time home with the kids, instead of seeing it as an inconvenience. We played a lot of board games last summer.

Then my cousin and her husband got sick with the virus. They ended up passing away within two days of each other. More and more people I knew ended up sick; thankfully all recovered. But fear set in. My husband is an essential worker, and the main provider for our family. He had to work, but I worried for my children.

After much research, and loads more prayer, I decided to be safe but to give the worry to God. Thankfully, even though my husband is in constant contact with people, none of us has gotten sick.

This were looking up.

Then my aunt Rhoda got sick. She had a relapse of cancer. The aunt who I talked to nearly every week, now didn't have the strength to talk for five minutes. She was miserable and the chemo wasn't working. So she made a decision. She wasn't going to spend the last little bit of her life sick just to extend the misery.

She passed away just after Christmas.

I know what you're thinking. "Oh my God, this is such a downer of a story!" I apologize for that. It is actually not the intension, nor the end of the story.

You see, this is a story of perseverance. It's a story to show you that no matter what, we simply have to go on and make the most of life. And that's what I'm doing.

Last month, I got so angry at myself for not finishing 'Wolf's Beautiful Beast' that I told myself I was getting it done. So much so that I booked my editor! I knew I had to get it done then, or I'd be out my deposit.

So, I spend many overnight writing sessions writing and editing, and writing and editing, and writing some more. Then it happened. I had finished it! While it had been nearly 4 years of writers block, I managed to finish it in a few weeks!

Now, I'm busy preparing for the release party that will take place on March 19 on Facebook!

The world is still crazy, and bad things seem to keep happening, but I managed to pull the positives out and not reflect on the negatives. I encourage you to do that in whatever situation life is throwing at you right now. Whether it's personal or professional, whatever is causing you worry and grief, find the silver lining and shine.

Saying goodbye to my 'Cat on the Lap'

Many of you know, my blog is called "Cat on the Lap" for a reason. That reason passed away on Monday.

He was my constant companion (literally morning, noon, and night) for eleven years (we rescued him from a shelter when he was two).

As the family says goodbye to our beloved Donut Kitty, we want to offer some comfort to those who have lost pets.

While the Bible does not directly address whether our fur babies go to Heaven, it does promise that God knows what we need to be happy.

"What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived - the things God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9 (NIV)

God is preparing Heaven for each and every one of us. He knows what we need to be joyous. So, it stands to reason, not only our loved ones would be waiting for us.

Another verse that talks of the promises of our Lord is in Romans.

"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all - how will he not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?" Romans 8:32 (NIV)

God knew what He was doing when he brought that fur baby into your life. He not only hears your cries as you mourn their passing, but He feels the pain those missing paw prints have left in your heart.

So, to anyone who has lost that beloved pet, do not be discouraged. Let your heart be blessed knowing that God brought them into your life, and there are greater things we cannot even imagine, waiting for us when we arrive in Heaven.

Some much needed joy

It's only Thursday but it feels like this week has drawn on for months. We were all feeling a bit down, after saying goodbye to momma. So, my sister and I hatched a plan to spread a bit of happiness to the kiddos.

We made a surprise trip to Wild Animal Safari, which is a local drive through petting zoo!

They have all kinds of animals (that drooled and spit all over my Jeep nicely), including Zebra, Wildebeest, Ostriches, Camels, Deer, Donkeys, Zonkeys (zebra/donkey mix), and more! They also have a walkabout area, where they house their big cats like Tigers, Lions, and even Ligers!

They let you feed most of the animals (obviously not the big cats) by hand, which was so fun. We screamed several times when the animals thought it would be a good idea of try to get into the car to get more food.

The temptation to grab up a white baby donkey, a couple baby goats, and a monkey were pretty hard! But we decided they would probably be taken care of better at the facility, so we let them keep them for now.

God gave us a little blessing as well. We noticed a goat was acting very distressed. It turned out she was giving birth! We stuck around to watch and another one was on the way! Twins!

We have spent so much time mourning lately, we have been lacking in the joy department. This brought us out of the gloom and into to the light. A day full of joy and laughter.

Goodbye Momma - a eulogy

It has been a very long month. Stubborn until the end, mom held on longer than anyone thought possible.

My sister and I worked tirelessly to make all the funeral arrangements. We even decided we would hold the funeral ourselves, instead of getting a pastor that didn't know her to hold it.

The day was supposed to be covered in thunderstorms, but God gave us a miracle and the clouds parted for our little graveside service.

The next blessing came in the form of guests. Mom was extremely shy, so making friends in her older years was very difficult. However, friends from her childhood and early married years showed up to pay their respects. It truly blessed me to see so many people having to stand because there weren't enough chairs.

The big event of the day was when I was chosen to give mom's eulogy. I have done plenty of public speaking, but never a eulogy. After a lot of thought, I decided that it needed to be funny. I was always able to make mom laugh, and felt this final act was necessary to give me closure as well as reflect a celebration of her life.

Here is what I had to say:

Family and friends, thank you for coming. It would have warmed mom’s heart to know each of you were here to celebrate the woman she was.

When I decided I wanted to give a speech at her funeral, I did a little research. As an author, there is always a degree of pressure when it comes to writing – but when writing a eulogy, there are certain rules one must stick to.

Rule number one - keep in broad. Too many personal experiences will weigh down your speech.

Two - keep it brief. Studies show, people stop listening after three minutes.

Three - keep it classy. Make it a dignified reflection of the person.

And four – keep it together. Composure and poise is key to your speech.

These are great things to keep in mind when writing a good eulogy. That being said, I will not be keeping to any of these rules today. While this may be a shock to some, it would be no surprise to mom. It took great pleasure in making her laugh, even in some of the more serious situations life threw at us.

So, as a tribute, I am going to tell you what I wanted to write in the obituary – but April had the sense to sensor me.
………………………………………

Mom passed away peacefully in her sleep at Magnolia Square Nursing Home on July 24, 2019. It is believed she lost patience with the nurses and deciding to push the ‘Call Jesus’ button instead.

She left behind a treasure trove of items to my sister and I, and we have absolutely no clue what to do with them. So, if you're looking for an extremely large bookcase that leans, a dusty, chipped, ceramic teapot collection, a slightly used microwave, or even a 1999 Buick with only 189,000 miles and a trunk full of 763 screwdrivers; let us know.

No, this is not an ad for a pawn shop, but a story of a great woman, mother, and grandmother.

Mom was an avid artist, especially when it came to painting and working with ceramics. She could put brush to canvas and create beautiful paintings that seemed effortless. In fact, she had a case full of every color oil paint you could ever want. However, they had to be thrown out due to an artistic family of mice who decided to take up residency in the art case, and snack on the paints. They did leave behind an array of Prismacolor droppings that would likely be considered award-winning art on the modern-day market.

In addition to art, she loved making crafts. Hobby Lobby was probably her favorite store. However, after discovering her hidden closets of craft supplies, we quickly concluded that crafting and purchasing craft supplies were – in fact – two different hobbies of hers. Sadly, these hobbies have been inherited by both April and I; as we too, have hidden craft supply closets.

Mom loved scary movies, especially the B-rated ones like The Blog, Jaws, and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. She was frequently found watching them while holding a blanket near her face (should the need arise to hide her eyes). She also found this a useful punishment for her children, whom she would force to watch said movies should we need a little discipline. To this day, April cannot look at a tomato without laughing, while I still have an unhealthy obsessed with Great White Sharks.

Once I became a teenager and the “Jaws” marathons stopped working as punishment, mom was at a loss as to what to do with me. I remember her saying “I hope you have a child just like you someday!” Obviously, this was not meant to be a compliment. Sadly, mom had not considered that when I had that child, I would still be living with her! Jokes on you mom. However, she retaliated by moving in with me and my family last summer for several months. Well played, mom; well played.

Though all three of us have led busy lives, Mom, April, and I, tried to get together when we could. Case in point, when April and I took her out for sushi one Mother’s Day. While apprehensive, she tried it and actually started to enjoy it. She even tried some of the more exotic ones that included eel! However, we didn’t realize just how adventurous she was until she yelped and said “Wow, that one was a bit spicy.” My sister and I looked around confused, as we never ordered anything spicy. Suddenly, I yelled out, “Where’s the wasabi?” Mom had mistaken the large glob of wasabi as an avocado roll. She took it like a champ though, only drinking a few swallows of water before moving on.

Once she moved to Springfield, she spent a large part of her time volunteering at local charities like Crosslines, Boys and Girls Town, and Convoy of Hope. It meant a lot to her to be able to help those in need. Even after she became unable to volunteer due to her health, she supported various charities with small financial donations through the mail. This became apparent by the stacks of “fan mail” she received from those charities. If she’d had a penny for every “complimentary” return address label she received from St. Jude, she would have retired a rich woman.

If what I’ve said has shown you anything, it is that mom had a wonderful sense of humor. She loved to laugh, and thanks to the antics of her children and grandchildren, she had the opportunity to laugh a lot. This is something we have all thankfully inherited from her.

So, in closing I will leave with the words mom said to me often when I spoke to her about my pain and problems. “This too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.”

Saying goodbye...

After returning from our trip, I discovered my momma was very ill. A year ago she had a heart attack and bypass surgery. Since then, she has struggled to recover, spending more time in rehab and the hospital than in her apartment.

Mom has developed large tumors in her abdomen. While they are non-cancerous, they are growing and inoperable due to her weak heart. My sister, wanting to spare our vacation, carried this knowledge until we returned.

After much discussion with mom, while she's still lucid and making her own discussions, she has decided to go into hospice. She wants to be kept out of pain as much as possible.

A year ago I held her hand as she endured a risky bypass. Today I hold her hand to say goodbye.

Beach babies and sea gulls

When planning the trip, I knew I wanted to splurge a little to make the trip as unique as possible. When I found the Emerald Beach Hotel in Corpus Christi, I knew I wanted to have a bay facing window. It was worth the additional $30 a nice for the kids to be able to listen to the water lap against the sand as they went to sleep.

Being from Missouri, you can imagine we don't exactly get a lot of beach time. We're smack dab in the middle of the United States after all. I hadn't been to a beach in eighteen years. My children had never been to the beach.

I was concerned their fear of underwater creepy crawlies, and swimming teeth would scare them from enjoying the waves. How wrong I was!

The moment the first wave washed over their little toes, they were hooked. I actually kept having to

get them to come closer into shore because they were making me nervous!

Then, at night, we would order pizza and sit in our room, or out on the balcony, and listen to the ocean.

One funny incident included the regret of feeding the sea gulls from our balcony. They got so comfortable with us, they stole the pizza right out of my son's hands! We had a good laugh, and he grabbed another slice.

Somewhere in Corpus Christi, there is a very fat sea gull who has an uncontrollable craving for pizza sauce!

Bucket List and Beluga Whales!

 As I have said, this was our first vacation in six years, so I was determined to make it a memorable one!

Sea World has options if you're willing to pay. Including a meet and greet with the beluga whales!

I adorable beluga's. They are seriously my favorite whale. So when I found out we could do this, I was ecstatic!

We were allowed to go behind the scenes and talk with the trainers. They explained a lot of things about the whale (like the babies are actually grey and don't turn white until they are about five years old).

This beautiful girl was adorable and would sing and blow 'raspberries' for you.

The water was extremely cold, as these are artic whales. It was rather refreshing given that it was so darn hot and humid in San Antonio!

I cried a little when I finally got to love on her (she blew a raspberry for me!).

It was father's day too, so the hubs got an unforgettable gift (that we just all happened to get to share. To two kiddos were without words (which seriously, never happens) and just sat in awe as they loved on the old girl.

The other whales were a bit jealous that they weren't getting attention, and squeaked like crazy through the whole encounter. But it was music to my ears.

Obviously, we saw much more than just the beluga whales. We were fortunate enough to catch both the Orca show, and the seal/otter show. It was almost more fun watching my kids react to the excitement, as it was watching the shows!

More updates to come as the trip continues!

Finally, a vacation!

Six years. It has been six years since our family has taken a real vacation. You see, we used to take one every year with my in-laws. We would go camping and fishing for a week, and love every moment of it. But they passed away five years ago. So it's been six years since we have ventured out as a family to enjoy not doing the dishes, vacuuming the carpet, working 8 grueling hours and driving an hour home in five o'clock traffic. We needed this.

The trip has already started out a bit sad, as our oldest (who is seventeen) got a job and couldn't take the time off of work (though she didn't seem too broken up about not having to sit in the back with her siblings for the eleven hour trip). But we were determined to still have a good time.

So off to Texas we go!

It helps that we have so much family in Texas. It has made the stay much more enjoyable (as well as cheaper!). That's more money to spend on fun things, like the Zoo, and Sea World, and of course, our beach hotel!

More updates to come as our adventure continues.

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 17 - My celebrity crush

So you want to know my celebrity crush huh?  Well I hope you have some time because I have a bunch! lol...

But seriously though, there are a few for sure.  I actually have a Pinterest board of them if that would be easier! lol

That being said, here's a few ;)

How can you not love the insanity that is Jared Leto

Jamie from Outlander... yummmm

Chris is adorable and sexy! Deadly combo!

Richard Armitage has blue eyes and elf ears... how can you not love that?!

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 16 - My family

As I have said before, most pictures have me behind the camera and everyone else in the picture. However, I managed to get different photos to make up the whole!

My daughter and me at a book conference

My son and youngest daughter at a water park with momma

My hubby and I at a farm during the fall (I have no clue who that kid in the back is lol)

My first 5K run with my sister!

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 15 - Don't leave home without it

Purse.

Boom.

Done.

That was easy!

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 13 - Favorite Musician

So you want to know my favorite musician? Well, you might as well as me which one of my children I love the most!

I seriously have always had a love of music since I was small. I sang through high school and even wrote some songs and preformed as a young adult.

Music isn't something you just hear, it something you feel in your bones. I'm very eclectic and like all kinds of music (except screamo- that's what my daughter calls it).

I have several favorites that come to mind off the top of my head. I love Ellie Golding, Lady Gaga, 30 Seconds to Mars, Tim McGraw, Sia, Black Veil Brides, Twenty-One Pilots and the list goes on.

However, if you really want to get to the root of my music love, just ask which concerts I've been to. The answer? Backstreet Boys... several times actually lol

I know, I know, it makes me a total nerd/fan girl but I don't care. I can't help but turn up the radio anytime one of there songs come on. Probably because it reminds me of being a teenager. I had my walls plastered with pictures of them torn out of "Tiger Beat" and those other magazines.

So I guess, if I were forced to pick, I would have to say my original was definitely Backstreet Boys. But since then, I have opened up my ears and heart to all kinds of music!

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 12 - My town

So today I'm supposed to show you a picture of the town I live in. Well, this picture is special because I actually took it. No, it's not of the town as a whole, though a large portion of our little town was here. 

This was a special Fourth of July celebration in our town and, with the help of a friendly fireman, I scaled the ladder to take an overhead photo!

This only shows a quarter of the activities taking place that day. But it gives you an idea of the small town love and feel :)

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 11 - My makeup bag

So you want to know what's in my makeup bag?  Well, to be honest, I don't keep a makeup bag in my purse. Well, not really.

I do, however, keep a steady supply of my favorite lip products on hand because that's the only makeup I really ever update throughout the day.

Those products are by Buxom and the shade? Dolly!  This is the PERFECT shade for me and I have it in liner, gloss and lip stick! lol  It is the perfect shade for my skin tone and makes my teeth look white while still looking natural.

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 10 - Favorite place to eat

Today's challenge is to show you my favorite place to eat. I really have no clue on this one. I mean, I enjoy eating all kinds of food, but I don't really have a favorite (nor a favorite place).

I love Chinese food, sushi, medium rare steak... there is very little that I will not eat (though I don't like olives nor do I like mushrooms - though I will eat them on a pizza as long as there are loads of other toppings so I can't taste them).

I sort of bomb out on this one I guess because I simply can't pick. But at least I posted something right?

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 7 - Dream Wedding

Today's 30-Day blog challenge is to show you my dream wedding.

Well, since I'm already married to the man of my dreams, I can't exactly replace our wedding. But if we were to do some type of vow renewal, then I would have to say something along these lines.

A simple renewal on the beach in Hawaii or another tropical location. We were married in the middle of winter, so a warm location would be a nice change of pace!

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 6 - Possible Pet?

Today's challenge is to post a picture of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet.

Since Great White Sharks are a bit on the big side and are nearly impossible to keep in captivity, I went with a different choice.

There are lots of animals I would like to keep as a pet, but I'm probably in the minority when I say I love snakes.

The snake pictured is a breed of corn snake. Perfectly harmless.

I actually had the pleasure of working with one during my time volunteering at our local zoo. I absolutely loved working with him.

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 5 - Photo of me from two years ago

Today's 30 Day Blog Challenge is to post a picture of myself from two years ago.

This one was hard. Not because I didn't want to use a picture of me, but because finding a picture of me is hard.

I don't carry a cell phone anymore, and I wasn't much for selfies anyway. And anytime a camera is out, I'm usually the one taking pictures!

However, I did find this one I took on an old cell phone from two years ago. As you can see, I had red hair back then.

This is donut, my cat (I didn't name him). He is the cat behind "cat on the lap".  He sits on my lap as I write and work. As you can see in the picture, he's pretty attached to me ;)

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 4 - Best Friend

I'm on day four of the 30 Day Blog Challenge. Today's challenge is "Your favorite photograph of your best friend."

I suppose if I were in middle or high school I would know exactly who my best friend is, but sadly, narrowing it down to one person is impossible. Truly. My sister is my best friend. My husband is my best friend. My dog is my best friend... so on.

So instead, I will scatter a few photos in here and tell you about them :)

My daughter with my friend and editor Hollie!

My wonderful friends Nancy and Chanda

The beautiful Nikki!



Love this guy! Jamie :)

Hanging with my girls Catherine and Erin

Tonya always has a great smile for me!

 

 

Hanging with my daughter and Christina!

My first best friend, my sister April!

Doris, my daughter and Susan... the perfect day on the town!

The adorable Alicia! Love her!